6/6/06

Yesterday was an example of all that is good about having a c-section. So next week when my incision is bothering me, I can refer back to this memory. It was a whirl of excitement in our house all morning and into the afternoon. I woke up at 4:30 and was ready to get up. I made some coffee - decaf of course and proceeded to do housework like a mad woman. After all, if I went into labor yesterday - big deal!

But really, it was the people that made yesterday wonderful. It was a Red Tent day for me. I love the book "The Red Tent" by Anita Diament. For me it is a book about tribe the realities of tribal living - good and bad. I think it fascinates me because my family was so small and I have felt so disconnected from my mother my whole life. In this tribe, for better or worse, the women were working together helping one another with the duties of daily living, cooking, cleaning, raising children. They were connected with each other, they were not going it alone.

Yesterday, my tribe was with me. From the onset of the day I had e-mails from well-wishers. Then a wonderful woman came to play all morning with the Afro Boy. She brought him a little bi-racial baby doll that we named Spencer. Another friend came by with a gift, her son, and an iced latte from Starbucks. My sister-in-law, the Fabulous Aunty, who lives with us, did so many things for me around the house that I couldn't begin to list them all. All of this in preparation for June Bug's arrival today. And that is what we talked about all morning, "tomorrow she'll be here", "tomorrow we'll get to see her". Amidst the chatter the phone rang off the hook, the rest of the tribe calling in to see how I was doing, lend support, and inquire as to when visiting hours would begin. It was a beautiful morning I never want to forget. Without the certainty of a c-section, the level of excitement would not have been so high. But we all knew, without a doubt that today was the day that our little girl would arrive.

As the afternoon approached, the excitement began to turn to a more quiet contentment and at times frantic preparation. I found myself saying more prayers as I began to really let go of the things I needed to let go of - particularly the emotional well being of my other child who I am leaving for 3-4 days for the first time in his life. This will prove to be more difficult for me than him in the long run and I could not do it without leaning into God more and trusting that it will be fine.

When I got married, the other sister-in-law gave me a wonderful morsel of advice, which I followed and never regretted. "Take mental snapshots of the day" - that way, details that might get lost in the fervor of the day will be remembered. Yesterday, I did that same thing. Yesterday I was present for the moment in wonderful ways. I was aware for most of the day of the things that we were doing for the last time. Things that might eventually change anyway, but for certain will be changing now. Some of those things are bittersweet. I will not have time in the early mornings to sit at the computer with coffee and record my thoughts while listening to the Afro Boy's rhythmic breathe over the monitor. I will have to find another way.

I am fairly certain I will never have hair this long or thick again, since I never did before. It is the hair I wanted in high school - thank you God, better late than never is better. I know in a few weeks it will return to its nature and begin to shed, heavily. About that time my nails will begin to break, also in response to the changing hormonal tide.

Other things I have no idea about yet because they are dependent on the behavior of one little June Bug who will begin to reveal herself in a matter of hours.

And for what may be my last lucid moment at this hour for quite some time, I just heard the first bird welcoming the day and the birth of my baby girl. It's time to go call the hospital and see when they want us to come in.

Thanks Be to God for all that has been freely given and all that is to come...